Perfectionism—ugh. Before I became a nonfiction book coach, I spent many years trying my best to be the perfect child, perfect teenager, and later on the perfect wife to please those closest to me and gain their approval. I didn’t know that some of the people I was trying to please were emotionally and mentally sick themselves, so trying to please the unpleasable was physically and emotionally exhausting. I felt like I was stuck on a hamster wheel, always striving for, but never attaining, perfection.
That is, until I hit an emotional brick wall when I discovered my first husband had a hidden life that was incompatible with marriage. Everything I thought I knew about the world and how life worked turned out to be a lie. I’d been duped and betrayed by a man I’d been married to for over half my life, and I literally thought I would die from the pain and grief.
Then came the self-sabotage questions. What was wrong with me? Wasn’t I good enough? I was nice, went above and beyond the call of duty in my relationships and tried really, really hard to get people to like me. Yet, why did it seem that just being myself was not enough? It felt like I had spent my entire life trying to be perfect to gain approval from those closest to me, yet it left me feeling emotionally depleted, false, and disconnected from who I really was. I had abandoned myself.
Fortunately, with the help of intense therapy and deep self-examination, I discovered some things about myself and learned some tools that have allowed me to stay far, far away from that wheel of perfectionism. When I returned to my true calling as professional nonfiction book coach, I made it my life’s purpose to be real and authentic with everyone I’ve had the privilege to help write their book. And with everyone else.
Why Am I Telling You This?
I misspent too many years before I became a nonfiction book coach and brought untold grief on myself because I refused to be me. And I’m amazed at how many other people have done the same thing. And once they’ve figured their lives out, are doing what they were meant to do, and are rejoicing in doing it, they don’t seem to step back to consider how powerful their story is and how it could help others.
I guess it’s easy to undervalue what’s inside us because it’s all that we know. So it doesn’t seem special. It doesn’t seem significant. And it doesn’t seem to offer a path that others can learn and grow from. Don’t fall for that way of thinking! Think about what you’ve learned, what you’ve developed, and what you’ve overcome—and be willing to give it to others. Be you! That’s all it takes.
If you or someone you know is ready to make the decision and write a high-impact nonfiction book, please contact us today. We can help you take the next step!